Maybe you’ve never been taught how to use homemaking alchemy to transmogrify dirty clothes and linens into clean ones. Maybe you brute-forced every interaction with a washer and dryer, resulting in something that seems passable – but you’re pretty sure it’s wrong.
It is so easy to look into the process of doing laundry and immediately fall down a spiral of anecdotal information and razor’s edge-precise rules. There’s something ritualistic about engaging with laundry, some eldritch dread in looking at all the compartments of your average Laundry Device and wondering what the fuck you’re supposed to do with them.
I might be projecting at this point. Let’s break it down.
How Often Do I Wash The Things???
This is. Strange to look into. I’m pretty confident in my Laundry Wizardry, but as soon as I started looking into the arguments of how often people say you should wash certain linens and fabrics around the house, I was immediately overwhelmed.
Like, I trust Good Housekeeping. They’ve been around for over 100 years, so I think if they were an unreliable source of information someone would’ve caught it by now. But after looking at their posted guide breaking down laundry frequency depending on the article of fabric?
Fucking hell. God damn.
I believe them, okay? I believe there’s merit to their suggestions. But at the same time, I’m not about to wash my hand towels and wash clothes every goddamned day that’s insane.
I can try and translate it into something that’ll maybe be a little more comprehensible to people who either don’t have access to an in-unit washer and dryer, or are just a little frazzled in the head when it comes to executive function. Maybe you can see this and get some ideas on how to adjust things for your own lifestyle. I do my main wardrobe once or twice a week, and here’s how I work it out the special cases in my brain:
These are kind of gross pretty much immediately, so make sure you have enough to get you through a week: socks, underwear, smaller towels,
Things I aim to wash these like 1-2 a month: sheets, pillowcases, blankets, bath mats
These should also be cleaned, but there’s enough nuance that it requires special consideration: pillows, comforters, certain sweaters or jackets
In my house we stay real cozy and have a stockpile of massive blankets we’re wrapped in pretty much anytime we’re at home. If I only washed these blankets every three months, my wife would dissolve into dust like the climax of a Marvel movie.
Also, flat-out, I don’t wash my pillows. The steps to do that are unfathomable to me, even though I see the purpose. I’ve also read enough to grasp that it’s pretty easy to mangle a pillow by putting it in the wash. It sounds much more accessible to spot clean with a solution of mild dish-washing liquid, spritz them with a disinfectant spray (Lysol makes one, the off-brand ones are likely just as good), and maybe using baking soda to deodorize.
I’ll touch on that more on a separate, dedicated cleaning guide – which is where I’ll also talk about stains. I can’t get into that here without making this far too long and frightening.
It is Time to Do The Laundry Now. Hold My Hand. It's Okay, We're In This Together
Step One: Figure Out What You're Washing
Resist the temptation to overload your machine. If you’re using a laundry room or laundromat, it might seem like a good strategy to save a few bucks. Honestly, whether or not it's worth it in the long run is up to you. It'll increase the likelihood of certain materials getting damaged, as well as decrease how clean some things get. But if every load of laundry costs you like two bucks, sometimes you gotta' do what you gotta' do.
How do you know you’re overloading a washing machine? There are a few obvious signs, like if the door struggles to close, or if the washer is noticeably shaking and buzzing during the spin cycle. If you also notice your clothes are still dirty after washing, or speckled with soap residue, that usually indicates you're washing too much at once.
That’s why separating loads is so useful. You may have heard people mention separating their light and dark fabrics. The reasoning behind that is because darker fabrics bleed their dye at hotter temperatures, so if you wash darker clothes in cold water they keep their vibrancy for longer. With newer detergents and washing machines, though, this is much less of an issue.
Even when I was using far older machines – in my second apartment’s laundry room, for instance – I never prioritized this. I instead separate loads based on need and use. I try and reserve bedding and bath towels for their own loads, because they take up a lot of space. If I had more delicates I’d probably separate those into their own thing too.
If the laundry’s really piled up because my brain exploded, I will also go ahead and make a load or two of just underwear, bras, and a few core outfits I feel comfy and cute in. It’s not glamorous, but it works!
Step Two: Get Your Goos. It's Goo Time, Baby
The following is a breakdown of the basic goos and liquids you can use to make your clothes good. How you use them depends on whether or not your machine has a detergent compartment, which is usually seen as a small drawer in the front of certain machines that can be pulled out to load detergent, bleach, and fabric softener as needed.
If a machine doesn’t have them, you put all your Laundry Potions directly into the drum – that’s what they call the main tumble pit that washes and cleans your fabrics.
Stain Remover: If you're treating a fresh stain, the right time to do it is before you throw it in the wash. The heat of the dryer sets the stain, so you want to douse it in that Good Good as soon as you can. They sell dedicated stain removers (Shout and Oxyclean are pretty good). If you don't have those, using an old toothbrush to scrub the area with a small amount of dish soap before sponging it down with a little bit of white vinegar helps with a lot of basic stains. You might want to let treated clothes sit for fifteen minutes or so before you throw it in the wash. If using a spray stain remover, consult the instructions with more faith than me.
Detergent: Comes in powder, liquid/gel, and pods. How the fuck do you choose between these options, you might be asking? Depends on what you can afford and what you value. Powder is usually the cheapest, and often the most environmentally-friendly, but it can be slow to dissolve at lower temperatures. Liquid and gel detergents are the best for colored fabrics because it tends to be bleach-free. Certain cities also have refilleries, or zero-waste shops where you can often get bulk detergents and soaps. The pods are are also bleach-free, and usually multi-functional, but they tend to be the most expensive variety and leave plastic waste.
Bleach: Bleach comes in two main varieties: chlorine/oxygen-based, or non-chlorine/color-safe. In laundry, it's used to remove stains and brighten clothes. I'm putting special emphasis on these varieties because I have a longstanding, unreasonable fear of using bleach in laundry. Chlorine bleach will stain the fabric of colored clothes, so don't use it if you don't want that to happen. If your machine has a detergent compartment, it’ll have a separate place for liquid bleach. If it doesn’t, or if you’re using powdered bleach, you can put it directly into the drum. With liquid bleach, you’ll want to start the wash first and let the drum fill partway with water before adding the clothes. How much bleach you use will depend on the brand and size of the load, but it’ll usually be around ¼ cup.
Fabric softener: I'm gonna' level with you - fabric softener is weird. It’s generally considered to be useful on cotton and natural fibers (Excluding wool and down). It’s also acknowledged to be a product of an age where laundry strategy was a lot less efficient, so most will say it’s optional, if not entirely unnecessary. In fact, it’s been noted that excessive fabric softener use can cause mildew buildup in certain machines. If you’re wanting a better, fragrance-free alternative that’ll also help remove soap residue and leave your towels and fabrics softer, you can use white vinegar in place of fabric softener (Either in the softener tray on the detergent compartment, or about a ¼ cup in the drum). But you can also skip this. The Ghosts of House-Spouses Past won't look down on you in disdain. They'll probably be jealous your equipment is so much better than what they had access to.
Washing Machines Have a Lot Of Settings. What - Uh - What Do I Do About That?
Yeah, man. I know what you mean. There’s a designated “Normal” setting that I tend to stick to. Sometimes I'll do like Sanitize or Heavy Duty if shit's extra gross. We don't have a lot of really finicky fabrics in our house, and there are absolutely settings on my washer and dryer I straight up have never used and don't understand.
It helps to check the tags on whatever you want to wash. It'll say if you need to care for it in any weird way. It'll also say if it's okay to dry it, and the best heat setting to dry it if needed.
Step Three: Dry Time Baby
Fabric sheets exist and can help with static cling, as well as softening clothes and providing a nice scent if needed. A cheaper long-term alternative that’s actually more useful are dryer balls. Their default is unscented, but you can add a few essential oil drops if you want to. They do everything fabric sheets do, but they also bounce around your clothes, keeping them from getting tangled in each other and giving you a more even dry.
A dryer has a lint trap, usually on the front wall near the door opening. It’s smart to check and clean it before every load, but if it’s your own machine you can get away with doing it maybe once a week. The lint and pet fur or whatever gathers there, and if it gets too full it’ll dry less efficiently or even act as a fire hazard.
Load your clothes from the washer and dryer. Once again there’s a normal setting, but you can also adjust temperature or time if needed. I only really do that when I’m either putting something clean directly in the dryer to get rid of wrinkles, or drying clothes that are only slightly damp. In both of those cases, longer time with lower heat is very helpful.
Dry your clothes. You did it! Good job.
Oh wait shit what now.
Putting Away Your Clothes???
So the person who asked me to look into this also wanted some insight on how to fold clothes and put them away. This is a complicated issue for me.
I might get called out for this, but when it comes to the best way to put away your clothes, I strongly believe it is virtually whatever sustainable method that works for you to find clean clothes.
My wardrobe is literally into four baskets. The first is for what I dub “easy clothes”, so t-shirts, shorts, soft pants and the like. The second is for my button downs, sweaters, and slacks. The third is where I keep my dresses and jumpsuits – pretty much anything more prone to wrinkling. The fourth is my briefs, bras and socks. I am at a point in my life where I accept that I often do not have the brain space to hang or fold things a bunch of things consistently. I don’t really dress in anything prone to wrinkling, and anything that proves an issue I just toss it in the dryer for like ten minutes before I go out. I hear hanging it up in the bathroom while you take a shower also works to steam out the wrinkles, but I personally haven’t tried that.
I’m not even going to suggest different ways other people fold clothes. They exist. The “life hacks” are out there, but if you know in your heart of hearts that you will not be able to LARP as an Old Navy employee every time you put away clothes, these tips will not help you.
There is no wrong way to put away clothes if it keeps your clothes clean and accessible for you. If you’re freaked about wrinkles you can try rolling your clothes. Or buy a handheld steamer. You can get one from a big-box store for like less than twenty bucks and they’re great for bedding too.
Be free be clean my friends.
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